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You May Have Noticed

June 21, 2008

As a few of you may have noticed, I took my blog offline for a week or so. I had a bit of a scare at work; I thought a co-worker may have inadvertently discovered my blog. I had worried about that possibility when I first started this, but that fear had subsided, and I honestly hadn’t thought much about it lately.

It’s a bit weird what we all do out here in blogland, at least for me it is. I let it all out, I write about stuff I’ve kept bottled up for years, and vent about things and share stories about my past, personal stories that help you understand how I got to be who I am today. But writing it is therapy too, putting it into words helps me let go of some things, or even discover a bit as I write, thinking things through while at the keyboard.

It’s not all like that, of course, some of what I write is just for fun, and some is the “what I ate for breakfast” type of stuff. But a lot of it isn’t. And it’s that more personal stuff that made me wig out and take my blog offline when I thought I had been discovered.

A friend at work came across the name “abitibisouth” that I had been using for another application. He would have never made the connection that that was me, except that I also used my real picture for that application. So he came to see me first thing in the morning and said “hey, I found you on *application name*, I didn’t know you were on there” And he got a blank look from me as my stomach sank into my shoes. “Oh and what’s with that name “Atibitisomething south” or whatever it is.

Ok good, he doesn’t quite remember the name, so as soon as he left my desk, and hopefully before he could Google it and find my blog, I went private. Then I switched my name on the application. And with the help of a dear sweet helpful friend, I think I killed any other possible way of him backtracking to find the blog again.

Unless. Unless of course he wrote down the name and/or remembers it. In that case, he is reading this right now. Because as you can see, I am back live.

Why?

Well, the fact is I enjoy this. It’s a wonderful outlet and the support of the regular readers that I’ve accumulated (all half dozen of you) means so very much to me.

I had to think very hard about what would happen if in fact this blog was discovered by my coworkers and I decided that I will deal with it head on if and when that happens. The unfortunate consequence would be that it would likely change the way I write, and certain posts would vanish, so I really hope that doesn’t happen. So Andy, if you’re reading this, I would really prefer it if you kept it to yourself.

That’s all for now, more to talk about tomorrow. I just wanted to let you all know that I’m back.

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. June 22, 2008 9:32 am

    In my experience, it can take a long time to find your balance. We are not of the generation that thinks nothing of living fully “out loud”. We are the product of Baby Boomer parents and their parents for whom many things were discussed sotto voce behind closed doors, if at all.

    Three years in I still haven’t given my parents my URL. The idea of them knowing bothers me a lot less than it used to, but still… (My brother and sister-in-law do know now.)

    That said, I also used to be very careful about making sure you couldn’t google my name. Then I started my new job and now – voila – #1. For me to be effective at what I do, I need to be very find-able. And everyone at work knows my blog, Facebook, del.icio.us, Twitter, and other stats. Hell, it’s a good part of what got me the job. It helps, I know, that I’m not management. Fewer professional “considerations”. But still, had you shown me this comment three years ago, I probably would have had a panic attack. 🙂

    I like to keep in mind a blog post I read some time ago, by a guy who, with his girlfriend, lives very publicly (they have an open relationship and other non-traditional things going on). And he basically said that him being the one to say/show things to the world means he gets to explain it HIS way, and that it leaves nothing they have to worry about, and nothing that anything can try to use against them, because it’s all already out there. (And really, once the light of day hits it, it quickly starts to seem a lot smaller.)

  2. June 22, 2008 6:18 pm

    HI, Sylvain,

    Welcome back!

    Recently, LoveHubbie told a colleague that she “should read my blog”. I was mortified, because she is a gossip and wanted to know what my blog name was. She did find it and read it and I realized that I was now “out” in my local community.

    I am estranged from my family of origin, but my brother knows my URL although he rarely visits; he may read about me via a blog reader.

    I sort of came to the conclusion that I’d just have to live as “me” and hope that it all worked out. Still, it means that I have to be aware that every. single. thing. I write about on my blog is for public consumption.

    This does change how I write. It’s not just for my “friends” but for everyone. But, with that limitation, it does bring a sort of freedom to live and have it all out there for those who may care. And if they are absolutely horrified by who I am, then it’s not a good match anyway, right?

    Again, warm welcomes,

    O

  3. lynn permalink
    July 2, 2008 6:44 pm

    Hi Syl, I hope the work scare is over by now…and no harm done.
    I can understand the desire to keep this part of your life separate from your work life.

    Thanks for sending DH the ship photo. He enjoyed receiving it.

    We are still talking about our visit with you and Kelly. It was one of the highlights of our wonderful vacation. Maybe seeing the Grizzly Bear the other day in Yellowstone National Park was right up there with the excitement of being with Kelly and you! ;-0

    Hugs to you both…
    Please keep blogging.

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