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March 15, 2009

Ok, so with the ordeal of a few weeks ago behind me, I’ve gone back to my daily routine of eat sleep work, with, thankfully, a nice dollop of play tossed in every now and again.

But I’m also desperately trying to hold on to that feeling of the past few weeks, the “I need to squeeze every ounce of life out of every second of every day” feeling. Because when you exist on that plane, everything is wonderful. I had a deep appreciation for the tiniest of things, and a careless indifference to things that used to make me insane. It may be the last time I see a duck feather float by on the water. It may be last time I smell that particular perfume. That may be the last temper tantrum I witness at the mall. Everything is taken in and enjoyed for what it is, the now. The sights, sounds and scents,  I wanted to slow it all down and appreciate all of it. I became brutally aware of how fast time slips past us, and how I’ve spent much of it floating mindlessly towards the next big thing on my schedule. Just trying to get by until I get there.  But I don’t want to be there, I want to be here!! (A little reverse Eckhart Tolle joke, Kelly’s laughing, trust me)

No, I have not yet read “The Power of Now”. I need to. I’ve watched some YouTube video’s of Tolle, and I’ve learned a lot from Kelly, but I always felt the right time to read that book would present itself. I suppose now it has.

Yet now that I am not fearing imminent death, it’s been a struggle to keep that feeling alive. I’ve been successful for the most part, but the world doesn’t always want to co-operate. For instance, every Monday, and tomorrow will be no different, someone will say something like “uuugh, Monday!, I hate Mondays!” or “Is it Friday yet?” Now I answer with something positive like “Yeah but the sun is shining!” to the first comment, or “But I had a great weekend, I don’t mind a little work till the next one.” to the second. I get looks, like I’ve taken one too many happy pills.  But I am not going to stop. I hope I rub off on a few people,  

So for the moment at least, I am able to exist on both planes. Or rather, I am able to exist on one, or the other. I have to function day to day, and yes the old habits of grumbling about little things still do creep up, but I am also able to call up that other plane and float on it much of the time. And it’s a much happier plane on which to live.

6 Comments leave one →
  1. March 15, 2009 11:35 pm

    Exciting changes, Sylvain! It sounds like you and Kelly both are doing so well—I am happy! love, O

  2. March 16, 2009 9:55 am

    What a great attitude to hang onto! It’s definitely easier now that we’ve gotten a break from a long cold winter, but believe me, I was a tad grumbly a week ago when the cold just wouldn’t go away!

  3. March 16, 2009 10:41 am

    I too know this feeling. When DH had a major health issue (is it 12 years ago now?) we became terrified we’d loose him. Our love magnified to a cresendo bigger than the Grand Canyon, taller than the Empire State Building…everything was so much more intense…I don’t think I hung on to the feelings to that extreme, but I did get the message that life is NOT forever, and I needed to appreciate it every single day. And I think for the most part I do. I know when I turned 60 that happened too on another level, more about MY not being here forever, and I threw myself into finding things to do that I ENJOYED! Thus my art work came to be and continues to grow each and every day. I like to think I live more in the NOW and less in the WHEN…except maybe while I am waiting for another visit with my grandkids (next Saturday!)…LOL somethings you just have to wait for. And there is something wonderful in planning for the future events as well. Ah life.
    Thanks for sharing yours.

  4. March 20, 2009 9:05 pm

    Thank you for stopping by the blog. Your blog is refreshing and I like the positive attitude.

  5. March 31, 2009 7:13 pm

    Keep hanging on to that positive attitude! I often have people grump at me at work when I don’t want to play their “reindeer games.” I am trying to be aware every minute of all I have to be thankful for. Where did you see that bald eagle? My son is very anxious to see it. We saw one when we were on our way to the airport in Calgary and he’s so itching to see another. Hugs.


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