On Guard

I was running errands today and went to the new Lowe’s to buy paint for my birdhouse I am building. (more on that later)

Since I want to do some detail painting, I headed across the parking lot to Michael’s craft store for some teeny weeny paint brushes.

I parked the van and got out, and noticed I was being watched. By this guy.

He look so cute, but he was standing in the middle of the road. I approached him and he moved towards me. “Awwe, how cute, he’s curious”  I thought.  I was holding out my Blackberry trying to take more pictures, when it became very apparent he was not cute and curious at all. He was angry, very angry. He rushed me and hissed.

That’s when I figured it out. He was guarding the nest. I spotted his partner sitting in the middle of the parking lot island right next to my van, snuggled up to a fire hydrant.

I gingerly went the long way around and found my way into the store, warning other people who seemed tempted to approach the “cute little goose”.

I didn’t end up buying the paint brushes there. Are you kidding me? $12 for 4 little brushes? I’m only painting a birdhouse. I can get them at the dollar store thank you very much.

So on my way out the Goose was ready for me. He stood between me and my van. As I approached him he starting hissing again. I tried taking more pictures, but again he rushed me. I got a little scared, because I don’t really know if Geese are dangerous. Seriously, I don’t know, it’s not something that’s ever come up. I’ve never heard of someone getting mauled by a goose, but it could happen right? Anyway, I decided to try to zip past him. Except I forgot my chair was not in high gear. So here I am, zipping along as fast as I can, with a goose literally chasing me across the parking lot while hissing. He chased me about 30 feet, well past my van.  When he stopped I kept going another 10 feet or so before turning around and looking back.

That’s when I noticed a guy standing by his car.  He had been watching the whole thing and was laughing so hard I thought he was going to pee himself.  Mr. Goose was pacing and keeping an eye on me.

I got into my van safely but when I backed out he was blocking me from leaving. He stood in front of my van and would not move. A woman came out of the store and came over to tell me the Goose was guarding his nest. Yes I know, thank you, I’ve met the goose.

Then she rushed the Goose waving her arms and making loud noises. He hissed, but he cooperated and moved along.  He didn’t peck at her, or bite, or rip out her carotid with one quick movement of his razor sharp beak. She is either remarkably courageous, or ridiculously lucky.

I smiled and thanked her as I drove away,  wondering if she knew that she had just cheated death.