What Happened?

This is my third attempt at writing this. The first was extremely detailed. The second was less so, but still outlined step by step what I went through, or at least it would have had I finished it.

The problem is, I can’t. I can’t do it. I can’t re-live it just yet. As I was writing it, I felt my anxiety level rise. I knew I had to stop. It’s too early for me to do this.

So here is the short version.

On Monday May 4^th I underwent Extracorporeal Shock Wave Lithotripsy (ESWL).

It’s supposed to be routine and in fact it IS for most people.

Not so for me. That very night I ended up in hospital, unable to urinate. I was sent home with a tube in a place nobody wants a tube. The next day was a fairly good day, and I thought I was over the hump.

Wednesday everything went downhill. I ended up in the ER by ambulance. It turns out the procedure had cause a large hematoma on my kidney, essentially a sac of blood. I required two units of blood. Also, it caused Ileus. This created serious problems for me and the resulting distended abdomen made it difficult for me to breathe. Also noteworthy was a fever of 39.9C (103.8F)

So, 10 days in the hospital, 3 of them in the ICU, and now I am back home.

I am tired, I am weak, I am bruised all over, and I still have some symptoms that are bothering me. But for the most part, I am much much better.

Being home is by far the best for me. Here I can get stronger again. And hopefully with strength, I will see these other troublesome issues go away.

I want to thank ALL of you for your kind and encouraging words. I was able to keep my blackberry for most my stay in the hospital, and knowing that so many of you were sending me positive vibes, prayers, and keeping me in your thoughts  made a huge difference.

I have to say a special thank you to my very dear (and crazy) friend Violet. Her concern and support through all of this kept me focused on the ultimate goal: to get healthy, get home, and start being a smartass on her blog again.

Another very special thank you for some dear friends who shared with us crucial medical information which made everything SO much easier for me. I was getting bits and pieces from my specialists as they rushed in and out of my room, but to have it all put into context by someone with such knowledge and experience allowed me to understand what was really happening to me and it put my mind completely at ease. It made a world of difference for Kelly and me. O and M, thank you so so much for everything!

My sisters were there for me in a big way through all of this. They will both claim that it was nothing, and that they felt helpless most of the time, but that isn’t true. It WAS something. I needed them, and they were there. Whether it be at my bedside in the ER, or fetching me my toothbrush from home, I knew I could rely on one or both of them to be there. That’s comfort. That brings inner peace when everything else is going mad. Thank you C and M.

Lastly, I am struggling for the right words to express how I feel about Kelly and her loving support. Without too much detail, the night in the ER was terrible. It was one complication after another, and another and another. Kelly’s love and support helped me hang on, kept me from giving in to what surely would have had much more dire consequences. I could NOT have done it without her. She said something to me at one point that night which brought me to tears then, and it’s bringing me to tears now.  I’m sorry I won’t share it, but she was absolutely right. And having that perspective helped me fight, and fight hard. Her love gave me strength and kept me going. I Love You Kelly. Thank you so much.