Welcoming the New Year

Kelly and I  spent a quiet evening together at home this New Years Eve. And that’s just the way I like it. I’ve done the parties. I’ve done the $300 dinners. I’ve done the bars and the drinking my face off. I’m so over all of that. I’m quite happy spending a quiet evening with my sweetheart.

This has not been an easy year. The economy has impacted most us in one way or another. But I’m finding it difficult to handle all the negative comments people are making on all the new media. Facebook and Twitter are loaded with messages such as “Good riddance 2009” and “OMG I’m so glad this year is over!!”. One of my friends went so far as to say “This has been the worst year of my life so far”.

Wow. That’s quite a statement. All I can see there is the last part. “So far”  It seems to me more like he is tempting fate.

I don’t really know what kind of year he’s had. And maybe he’s right. Maybe it is the worst “So far” for him. But should that really be the focus of our thoughts?

I try to be as positive as I can, always. It’s hard sometimes. No doubt. But what a sad life it becomes if you are unable to look around you and see how lucky you truly are. If all you can see is what you don’t have. If all you notice is what others have that is better or nicer than your things. If all you can focus on is what has gone wrong.

One could argue I’ve had a challenging year. I had a false cancer scare. I spent some time in the hospital. I had to have Lythotripsy again and finally passed a huge kidney stone. My company announced it was closing.

But I can see the HUGE positives there. The cancer scare was FALSE. I recovered from my hospital stay with no lasting complications. I finally PASSED that pesky kidney stone. And although my company is closing, I have been presented with an exciting opportunity. To be able to see it that way is a choice, and a gift.

Kelly also quit her job this year. And although this presented several challenges, it precipitated the largest shift in our lives for this year.  For her it has meant finally following a dream, and it has allowed me to be the supportive partner I have always wanted to be for her. It has brought us even closer together.

In my post a few days ago, I noted that I am on the verge of major change. Much of it will begin to unfold this year. I am excited. A little scared of course, change is scary. But as Kelly and I talked about this morning, and she mentioned on her blog today, the only control we actually have in this world is in how we perceive and react to the majority of which we have no control over.

Most of the changes that are coming for me are ones that I will initiate. But they are ALL  reactions to events over which I had no control. I am choosing to be proactive, in a positive way, and to observe these as exciting opportunities. Sure I could begrudge the change, complain about the task at hand and gripe all the way through about how unfair life is and that this is NOT how I had imagined it to be. But time doesn’t hold still waiting for me to get things in order again so I can experience happiness. Soon a few years would have slipped away, and I would have spent them being  miserable.

I won’t do it. I resolve to find some joy in every day this year, even if I have to break  it down to tiny moments. One of the many gifts Kelly has given me is the ability to be present. It sounds simple, but it’s an art that escapes so many.  I’ve become much better at it, and I’ve discovered what seems obvious now when looking back. If you are able to be happy in the moment, and you are able to string those little moments together, you end up learning how to be happy all the time.  And that my friends, is a skill that will help 2010 be an exciting and exceptional year for us.

I wish you all the best in this exciting new year, full of potential and possibilities.