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November 13, 2007

Two projects arrived on my desk at the same time today and triggered a weird mood in me.

My job is cyclical. I work in a marketing firm and our main client is a large automotive corporation. Among the work that we do for them, there are several large projects that need to be completed and shipped at the same time every year. Over and over, year after year. After 10 years working for this firm, it’s getting so that I associate times of the year with certain projects. For instance, I know that late summer will be busy; we’ll be working on showroom brochures and Web refresh among a pile of other stuff. Spring we gear up for the coming model year. I could go on but it would get boring real fast.

So today, autoshow brochures and an automotive calendar we do every year landed on my desk. Both of these mean Christmas to me. It’s like those little oranges from morocco in the wooden crates. You know Christmas is around the corner when those show up.  

So the mood. Yeah. I don’t know, I’m not into it I suppose. I felt it well up in me as I flipped through the pages. A combination of indifference and dread where excitement and anticipation used to live. I could already see the end rush just before we leave for our Christmas break, putting the last touches on these projects before we leave. Winding down, exchanging gifts while sipping on a coffee with some Baileys. I normally get excited. So what’s with me this year?  Several of my neighbors have their lights up and on already. I want to slap them. All I can think of is all the work that needs to be done. Lights, decorations, getting the tree. I know once we get these things done, I will enjoy them, but the work weighs on me. Anyway, I didn’t intend this to be so whiny, I just don’t understand how I feel. I used to love the holiday season. And maybe I will. Maybe it’s just too early.  I dug up a picture of our tree from a couple years ago thinking it might help. Not working so far.  I’ll have to look at it a few more times.


Or maybe it’s not the Christmas season so much as winter in general. I know soon I will have to wear a jacket ALL the time. My feet will be cold every day. I have to be on my guard all the time for sick people and plead with them to stay the hell away from me. And the whole lack of daylight hours seems harder on me than it ever was. Today was great! The sun was out all day and I felt energized. But the last several days with grey skies and rain, I felt so down and tired.  

There is good news to report though. Both of my challenges are going quite well. I was a few minutes late for work this morning, but that is only because I forgot my swipe card and had to wait by the elevator for 5 minutes for someone that I work with to swipe me up. And my other challenge is getting easier as well. I find that the positive energy in room is the strongest incentive to keep on keeping on. It isn’t always easy though. Clearly when I am stressed or feeling overburdened, my patience is short, and it’s at those times that I really have to be careful. But I am doing well. And the rewards are worth it.

3 Comments leave one →
  1. November 14, 2007 10:33 pm

    Dear Syl…I can relate a little to the holiday stress reaction. I both love and hate the gift giving thing. I do love to give and I do LOVE To get…;-) but I don’t love to shop or feel pressured that because it is DECEMBER it’s time to THINK about those I love. I think about them all the time. Lucky for me we have widdled down our gift giving just for the kids. That’s four grandkids for me/easy and enjoyable. Let’s see how can I spoil them this year? And one girlfriend since childhood who insists we exchange and she exchanges huge. So I do this back for her and we both love it. We shop all year round for each other!

    But I don’t like the incessant sounds of Christmas music in the stores that seems to start before Halloween now. Or all the other STUFF that shouts SPEND< SPEND< SPEND!

    I don’t join you with the negative reaction to the cold or the rain/weather. I really like it. If I can bundle up enough to be comfortable of course. It doesn’t get THAT cold here. But it sounds like you have some exceptional challenges that are important and a bit scary…needing to stay away from other’s germs, etc. So I do hear that as a legitimate complaint & worry.

    So lets see what wise sage sort of advice or suggestions can I send your way?
    (Dont you just love unsolicited advice?)
    1. Try listening to the Relaxation CD daily for the winter…as it will keep your stress level down. (Your reaction to stress down). (Do not listen to it while driving)
    2. Stay focused on what IS positive…you know who she is…that is…etc.
    3. Substitute positive thoughts (3) for each negative (1) one that flows your way.
    4. And remind yourself that this too shall pass.


  2. Mary permalink
    November 14, 2007 10:41 pm

    I hope advice-giving and a little marketing is allowed. If not, close your eyes now! I used to work in a shoe store, and know a few tips about cold feet. 1) First off, wear your shoes loosely. It’s the air in your shoe that keeps the warmth in (like an old double pane window). If you lace tightly, you loose that buffer space. 2) I’ve become a big fan of wool socks in general and the brand SmartWool in particular. (I often break out in a rash with wool against my skin, even through lined pants. I’ve never had trouble with their socks and now wear several of their wool knit tops.) You can get socks in various thicknesses. Choose a thickness that leaves airspace in your shoe… picking a thick sock that makes your shoe snug defeats the purpose. 3) Buy shoes with waterproof gortex. The gortex is a liner that’s glued into the leather of the shoe. The glue doesn’t breath so much, so the shoe feels warmer. Except for Ecco shoes… they have a construction method that doesn’t require gluing. Great shoes, though! 4) Another thing worth considering is a pair of Ugg boots. They’re loose-fitting (don’t lace) and are lined with sherling – which is sheep wool still attached to the leather. They’re sold for men and women… you just need to look more for the mens styles. And look quick because the stores stop stocking most models after Christmas and supplies run out.

  3. November 14, 2007 11:56 pm


    This Christmas ask for a bright light to combat seasonal depression, warm woolen socks to keep your feet warm (I ditto Mary here), a nice warm hat too. And right now, take a nap.

    Hope you feel eager and peppy again soon.

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